Posted by: *carrie* | August 4, 2010

Confession: The Choice of Motherhood

As a feminist, I’m all about choice, from pro-choice activism to choosing the style of family that’s best for you.

I try to be supportive as more and more friends have kids (seems to happen as you get into your 30s, I guess). But what I largely see are all of these talented women – artists, musicians – who suddenly have their world turned upside down. Their first priority becomes that of being a mother.  The fathers also have a shift in priorities, but somehow they largely manage to find the time to work on their individual crafts.

Most of these women have really wanted kids. Some their whole life, some only for a year or two. So I say congrats, sometimes I show up at baby showers, the whole supportive thing. Because they’re my friends & of course I do want them to be happy.

But there’s always a part of me that feels like the world is missing out on what they would have put into it. Other than more people. I know their choices are influenced by all sorts of factors.  And I know that society is at least a small part of that – they expectation that women are supposed to want and have children and turn their entire focus to the family.

So my big confession is that while I believe women (everyone, not just women) should have choices, I wonder about how so many choose the path of motherhood. I wish more women would choose to make great art, great music, make scientific discoveries – and make those things their main priority.

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